303 Leadership Best Practice 3 : Build Trust & Connect

Words & Hearts

Trust is a "willingness to rely on another party and to take action in circumstances where such action makes one vulnerable to the other party". As trust grows so does the flow, accuracy and quantity of information between followers and leaders. In this age of the knowledge worker, information is a source of power and performance. The smooth willing flow of good information is crucial.

There are seven cardinal principles of trust all leaders should respect:

  • Trust is not blind - - for it is unwise to trust people who we do not know well, and it is hard to know more than 50 people well; nonetheless, replacing trust with systems of control is counterproductive.
  • Trust needs boundaries - - unlimited trust in practical terms is unrealistic; however, once reasonable but not risk-free boundaries are set, the energy and effectiveness released by the freedom within such boundaries more than compensates for the risk taken.
  • Trust demands learning - - a necessary condition of stability and constancy is the ability to change; a real learning culture creates the ability to handle change as it comes at us.
  • Trust is tough (and sometimes ruthless) - - when an individual proves he cannot live up to expectations or be relied on (or worse yet shows himself deceitful or malicious) he has to go; for the sake of the whole, the individual must be removed.
  • Trust needs bonding - - our "personal infection" and pouring out of our energy as leaders is critical to the reinforcement of our mutually held values and beliefs; nonetheless, it is critical that our personal example and exhortation must bring the reciprocation and emulation of "our statement" by our followers.
  • Trust needs touch - - shared commitment still requires personal contact to be real.
  • Trust requires leaders - - while we may be united in our pursuit, as leaders we must still steer and make course corrections as we make our journey together.

Skilled highly-focused leaders are able to inspire trust and act as a purveyor of hope says. Leaders amplify the hopes and fears of their followers. From deepening trust a resonance exists between leaders and followers that make them allies in support of a common cause.

Leaders are capable of deep listening and learning the heart of their people; they create communities out of words. "Everything a leader does is symbolic". Leaders are able to put words to the formless longings and deeply felt needs of others. "The best leaders... are master users of stories and symbols". The essence of leadership is to hear what is left unspoken and draw out the unique strengths of each follower. In an illustrating Oriental proverb the following conclusion is reached:

To hear the unheard is a necessary discipline to be a good ruler. For only when a ruler has learned to listen closely to the people's hearts, hearing their feelings uncommunicated, pains unexpressed, and complaints not spoken of, can he hope to inspire confidence in his people, understand when something is wrong, and meet the true needs of his citizens. The demise of states comes when leaders listen only to superficial words and do not penetrate deeply into the souls of the people to hear their true opinions, feelings, and desires.... Rulers with humbleness and deep-reaching inner strengths... capture the people's hearts and are springs of prosperity to their states.

These four factors are essential for effective leadership:

  • a tie to community or audience
  • a rhythm of life that includes isolation and immersion
  • a relationship between the stories leaders tell and the traits they embody
  • arrival at power through the choice of the people rather than through brute force

A leader's job is all about growing people - - turning self-absorbed individuals into a loyal committed unit. To do that leaders have to create the culture and climate that makes it possible. The only way such can be built is through the bonds of trust. The powerful use of language is a critical leadership skill but of itself wholly insufficient if trust cannot be formed.

A lack of trust in leadership is often the key factor in restraining success. At least 50% of wasted time can be directly attributed to the lack of trust. Trust is broken in a number of ways such as when people relentlessly pursue selfish objectives, play politics, or compete for resources.

Feelings of satisfaction are often critical to working collaboratively. When feelings of dissatisfaction are present, consensus will usually be lower. Individual goals often will not translate into common goals. To achieve satisfaction, both individual and group goals need to be seen as achievable and desirable. Leadership can set up followers to succeed or fail.

Lack of communication from above and the resulting lack of follower purpose are two of the most relevant reasons for leader-follower dysfunction. Further, the vacuum of leader-given voice and information can shackle open discussion and vigorous debate about ideas and instead promote avoidance behavior. Collective uneasy feelings can add up to an emotional reality that paralyzes collaboration - - when a group lacks harmony and cooperation, the quality and speed of everything suffers. The inability to foster trust and collaboration is a direct result of a lack of "emotional intelligence".

Emotional Intelligence

Our main task as leaders is to create a "reservoir of positivity that frees the best in people.... through creating resonance". The Primal Leadership model has us learning to become resonant leaders by moving through four discoveries:

  • defining the ideal vision for our self
  • recognizing our real self with our strengths and our gaps
  • experimenting with and practicing new behaviors, thoughts, and feelings
  • developing our own learning agenda

Intellect alone falls short because effective leadership requires executing a shared vision by motivating, guiding, inspiring, listening, and persuading our followers, colleagues, peers and superiors. We need to lead primarily based on emotionally intelligent competencies. There are four aspects of emotional intelligence (now commonly known as EI):

  • emotional self-awareness
  • emotional self-management
  • awareness of others emotions or empathy
  • managing relationships with others

Summarily they can be expressed as follows:

Self-awareness, perhaps the most essential of the emotional intelligence competencies, is the ability to read your own emotions. It allows people to know their strengths and limitations and feel confident about their self-worth. Resonant leaders use self-awareness to gauge their own moods accurately, and they intuitively know how they are affecting others.

Self-management is the ability to control your emotions and act with honestly and integrity in reliable and adaptable ways. Resonant leaders don't let their occasional bad moods seize the day; they use self-management to leave it outside the office or to explain its source to people in a reasonable manner, so they know where it's coming from and how long it might last.

Social awareness includes the key capabilities of empathy and organizational intuition. Socially aware executives do more than sense other people's emotions, they show that they care. Further, they are experts at reading the currents of office politics. Thus, resonant leaders often keenly understand how their words and actions make others feel, and they are sensitive enough to change them when that impact is negative.

Relationship management, the last of the emotional intelligence competencies, includes the abilities to communicate clearly and convincingly, disarm conflicts, and build strong personal bonds. Resonant leaders use these skills to spread their enthusiasm and solve disagreements, often with humor and kindness.

Of all the emotional intelligence skills, self-awareness is most important for good leadership. The ability to know how we are feeling and why helps us to see the impact our feelings have on our behavior. Feelings are strong but some little biases that need to be monitored and controlled if we are to act as leaders.

Lack of self-awareness impairs our leadership performance. Self-awareness or knowing our self deeply is a capacity we develop throughout our lifetime. It is cultivated through a great deal of introspection and the ability to internalize feedback from others. Self-awareness is especially deepened as we do the hard work of learning from extreme difficulties and disappointments. We have to grapple with our values, motivations, weaknesses, strengths, and most importantly how and why we respond to situations in a particular way. Most crucial is overcoming the tendency we all have to mask our inadequacies and stay open rather than closing ourselves off by hiding behind an image we would rather project. To become authentic leaders we need to deepen our self-awareness by finding our inner voice and listening to it.

Since emotional intelligence is so powerful, it can also be dangerous. The danger is in letting any single emotional intelligence skill dominate. Emotional intelligence needs to be used in a balanced way. Over emphasizing a skill like empathy can lead to exhaustion because of the over identification - - we lose our own center as we are drawn into another's life without any sense of control. Tempering empathy with connecting people together is more effective and less stressful.

If we develop emotional intelligence skills disproportionately, they will interfere with our relationships. Too much self-awareness and not enough empathy for example will have us seen as self-obsessed. If we are overly empathetic we risk being too hard to read. Self-management without transparency makes us seem inauthentic. However, when we rightly balance the skills we develop a situation sensing ability that allows us to sniff out signals in our external environment in a way that we can figure out what's going on without being told.

In gathering up hundreds of studies, Daniel Goleman (who popularized the concept of Emotional Intelligence) looked at what distinguished star performance in any given field. He found specific abilities that were found consistently in the stars that were not seen in other individuals. Amongst these abilities are:

  • perceptiveness in how other people were feeling and seeing things from their perspective
  • the ability to cooperate well on a team
  • the ability to manage disturbing emotions - - in oneself or in others

These EI (emotional intelligence) factors effectively discriminated between the worst and the best. EI unlike IQ (the cognitive speed with which we learn in academia - - verbal, mathematical, & spatial reasoning) is part of lifelong learning - - it is not innate like IQ. However, differentiating EI tends to emerge in the middle school years around age 11, 12 or 13. Nonetheless, EI is learned over the course of life and refined as progressively more challenging social tasks are handled.

Charismatic leadership is a function of EI not IQ. EI also consists of a number of different traits. The female gender as a group has different EI strengths and weaknesses than the male gender. The reason the EI is important is that highly effective individuals, or perhaps we should call them leaders, can create an emotional climate that motivates people to work to the best of their ability.

Visionaries have high EI as they articulate a shared vision in a way that inspires people to create very positive emotional climates. Strong leaders know how to build emotional capital in their organizations when the pressure is on. IQ identifies cognitive threshold abilities but it does not produce distinguishing ability. Thus we need to pay attention to the role of EI in our outstanding leaders and to find ways to institutionalize it into our culture and systems.

Star performers gain expertise four times faster than people who are average. This may have to do with a superior ability in emotional maturity and the ability to handle distressing emotions. "The more you are under the sway of emotional centers the less nimble and the more paralyzed your thinking brain becomes". People with high EI manage both emotions and relationships effectively.

Goleman addresses the concept of the emotional resonance also within groups of people. He says every group and every team has a mood. It can be upbeat or downbeat, optimistic or pessimistic, motivated or demotivated, alienated or involved. When people feel "nobody cares about me" it is most difficult for them to contribute their best or work well with other people. Performance in the context of teamwork will be low. People do not leave their emotions at home when they gather together.

Our emotions alert us to danger and speak to our own internal conflicts. Goleman says "emotions are really more powerful than intellect". Our emotions are crucial to our survival so much so that distressing emotions disable rational thought. Emotions are also contagious. Humor is the most contagious but anger or upset can also spread quickly.

Goleman tells us our brain is designed so we can help each other manage our emotions better. Further, he says the leader in the group determines the consensual emotions, the shared emotions. "It is very important that the leader pay attention to the emotional reality of the team and take care of it". Goleman asserts:

The leader needs to help the team become adept at each of these [four] aspects of emotional intelligence. And to do this, the leader has to establish a set of ground rules for the way we work together, both by example in our own behavior and by commenting on the behavior of others and helping people do better. In other words, the leader needs to help the team become more self-aware, which is the core aspect of emotional intelligence.... you don't ignore the fact that someone's really having a bad time or a downtime, but you do something to bring him or her back into the loop. You make the emotional reality discussable. That self-awareness is a prerequisite for the team's ability to manage its own emotions, to deal with issues rather than burying them".

The most effective executives use a collection of distinct leadership styles. Followers require different types of guidance at different times - - often it depends upon which stage an organization may be in. Each style is adapted according to the situation or stage of an organization.

Leadership style needs to be flexible and each style can be learned. Switching styles is difficult but the adaptation process pays off in performance. There are six styles:

  • Coercive which demands immediate compliance - - it is best utilized in a crisis or to kick-start a turnaround
  • Authoritative is utilized to mobilize a people towards a vision - - this style is called upon during times of change or when a clear direction is needed
  • Affiliates style is employed to create harmony and build emotional bonds - - it is needed to heal riffs in a team or to motivate people during stressful circumstances
  • Democratic leadership forges consensus through participation - - this style is used to build buy-in, work up a consensus, or to get input from valuable employees
  • Pacesetting style sets standards for performance - - it is exploited occasionally to get quick results from a highly motivated competent team
  • Coaching style is applied to develop people for the future - - coaching helps followers improve their performance and develop long-term strength

The skills of emotional intelligence can be learned at any age but practice and commitment are required. Utilizing a coach can help a great deal. Learning takes months not days, however, because the emotional centers of the brain, not just the neocortex (home of our "IQ") are involved:

The neocortex, the thinking brain that learns technical skills and purely cognitive abilities, gains knowledge very quickly, but the emotional brain does not. To master a new behavior, the emotional centers need repetition and practice. Improving your emotional intelligence, then, is akin to changing your habits. Brain circuits that carry leadership habits have to unlearn the old ones and replace them with the new. The more often a behavioral sequence is repeated, the stronger the underlying brain circuits become. At some point, the new neural pathways become the brain's default option..

While emotional intelligence can be learned, it is only true to a certain degree. Emotional intelligence develops through a combination of both biological endowment and training. Some have a better genetic endowment than others just as some are more athletically gifted than others. Some of us will just lack the capacity to become deeply emotional intelligent just through training.

"Trying to drum emotional intelligence into someone with no aptitude for it is an exercise in futility". It is always easiest to train the naturally gifted. For those of us who have an average endowment, we will have to work harder and with more determination. Nonetheless, emotional intelligence can be learned and improved at any age. There is probably no other skill so important to learn as emotional intelligence. "There's no such thing as having too much emotional intelligence". We can all develop our emotional intelligence if we really want to. For the most part, the central issue for us isn't a lack of ability to change; it's our lack of motivation to change.

Emotionally Intelligent Teams

The concept of emotional intelligence also applies to teams says. The key to better performance is the ability of leaders to understand and manage their own emotions and relationships. The mutual ability to perceive how people are feeling, while seeing things from their perspective, along with the ability to cooperate well on a team is what distinguishes the best from the worst teams. Managing disturbing emotions with empathy and persuasion is powerful. The team leader's ability to create the right emotional climate can translate into team motivation that has people working at the best of their abilities.

At the basis of inspiration is good listening skills and a heart that is truly interested in each individual on the team. Individual aspirations can be tied the team goals in meaningful ways. There is no substitute for caring and the bottom line for caring is integrity. The emotionally intelligent are freed to be more objective, to see more clearly, and to learn more rapidly. It turns out that the star performers - - the emotionally intelligent - - in developing new expertise learn four times faster than people who are average. The emotionally intelligent can manage distressing emotions so that they don't get in the way of the learning and work that needs to be done. In large part this is because

there is a relationship between the emotional centers of the brain, which pump out your distressing emotions, and the neo-cortex, pre-frontal brain, which needs to take in information and understand it clearly and respond flexibly. The more you are under the sway of the emotional centers the less nimble and the more paralyzed the thinking brain becomes.

Leaders extend their emotional intelligence to their teams and organizations. They do not start by first focusing on an ideal vision but instead begin by taking a hard look at reality, the collective emotional reality of the team and the organization. This aligns with Jim Collins' theory of Greatness which begins with an analysis of the brutal facts. Groups begin to change only after they have first grasped the reality of how they function together. A group of brilliant individuals, perhaps the brightest anywhere, will make collective bad decisions if the group is bickering, rivalrous, or struggling for power. Groups are smarter than individuals only when they exhibit the qualities of emotional intelligence.

Dealing with the team's emotional reality means discovering the source of discontent. Most often the root of the problem lies with long-established and deeply embedded ground rules and habits that govern the group organization. Norms (for groups) and culture (for the organization) frequently are a cause of the dysfunction and the brutal emotional reality. An understanding of emotional reality in terms of norms and culture can be used as a basis to develop both an ideal vision for the group and the individual, as each individual's personal vision is captivated. When the emotional reality and the ideal vision are understood side-by-side it is possible to identify and explore the gaps between what's happening today and the vision of tomorrow.

Conscious alignment needs to be planned and executed. The more aligned the reality is with the ideal, the more likely change will stick over the long-term. Aligning ideals with reality creates a framework for moving away from dissonance and conflict toward an emotionally intelligent, resonant team. Collaboration can be kept resonantly high by balancing a team's focus on the task at hand with attention to the relationships amongst the team members. Emotionally intelligent teams create a friendly, cooperative climate which fosters a positive outlook on the future.

The norms of the group help to determine whether it functions as a high-performing team or becomes simply a loose collection of people working together.... collective emotional intelligence is what sets top-performing teams apart from average teams.... a group's emotional intelligence requires the same capabilities that an emotionally intelligent individual expresses: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Groups turn into teams as members begin to practice self-awareness, noticing the group's moods and needs while responding to one another with empathy. Acting with empathy fosters a climate that leads teams to create and sustain positive norms and manages relationships with the outside world more effectively. The universal law of teams is that since emotions are contagious, team members take their emotional cues from each other - - for better or for worse.

Emotionally intelligent teams have the self-awareness necessary to discover underlying problems in the group and then make decisions about what to do and how to do it. This type of self-management by the team goes far beyond blindly following ineffective norms or swaying with the winds of contagious emotions. Acknowledgment of shared sentiment, by a statement as simple as "I don't like how it feels around here" helps the team make the critical steps necessary in the normative change process. Requisite listening for what's really going on in the team is part of empathy and a focus on others. The team's emotional reality is aware of inclusion dynamics of "who's in" and "who's out" as well as team roles of who does what and why.

Emotionally intelligent leaders protect the team from the turmoil that sometimes accompanies change. By giving the team as much information and as much control over their destiny is possible, the change process is easier and more engaging. Critical is noticing how team members feel, acknowledging those feelings, and giving members opportunity to more greatly express those emotions. This leads to honest conversations about what is working and what is not working on the team.

Suppressing or burying feelings that identify when norms are dysfunctional makes the emotional climate unproductive and magnifies the extant problems. Team leadership goes well beyond discussion of strategy and functional alignment - - it has the courage to breakthrough emotional barriers. This results in a new and healthy legitimacy developed around the truth that honestly assesses both the behavioral and emotional aspects of culture and team leadership. Further, the very act of engagement in pursuing truth, daring to share a dream aloud, and connecting emotionally encourages emulation and risk-taking in a most positive way.

Teams become self-managing when they can set up their own process norms that outline how the team will hold team members accountable for managing how they work together. This includes taking responsibility for

  • getting back-on-track if the team gets off-track
  • facilitating group input
  • raising clarifying questions about procedures and direction
  • and using good listening skills to build on ongoing discussion, or to clearly signal a change in subject, as appropriate

Over time the team learns how to make collaborative norms explicit so that everyone practices them. The team strengthens as positive norms are practiced over and over again. When core values and norms become clear to the team, positional leadership is not required for the team to run effectively. The members themselves instill and reinforce resonant norms while holding one another accountable for sticking to them.

As these positive norms become second nature team pride grows creating the good will and desire to help others succeed. Trust and empathy become ever more powerful. Empathy can become contagious spreading across organizational boundaries to become a powerful driver of organizational effectiveness because of a healthier of emotional climate.

Emotionally intelligent teams require individual development as well. There has to be "a bridge of intent" in which each member of the team commits to developing their individual competencies of emotional intelligence:

  • inclusiveness
  • adaptability
  • assertiveness
  • empathy
  • influence

Socially inept team members negatively impact the team. They have difficulty resolving issues and communicating. These interpersonal skills are a critical key for high performance. It is possible that members with high emotional intelligence competencies carry members with lower levels. Compensatory behavior may prevent any negative impact on team cohesiveness or performance. Over time intra-team coaching is likely to take place.

Building Trust

Over the long-term, trust may be the single most significant determinant of leadership success. Trust is the sum of our credibility, reliability, and intimacy, minus the impact of our self-orientation. We can define our self-orientation as self-interest at the expense of our organization and those who would follow us.

Understanding the personal histories of our organization and our followers is critical to establishing trust. Also important is our understanding of our motivation which comes from some combination of what we believe is:

  • Our personal meaning
  • Our duty
  • Our accomplishment (past & future)
  • Our sources of joy

The intimacy between leader and followers can be seen as the extent we are closely emotionally connected on these past and present issues of meaning and motivation. In this intimacy the leader carries great responsibility.

Being a trusted leader is all about "knowing our self" within the context of this responsibility. The loss of trust has its roots in incomplete communication and hesitancy within the complexity of our lives. So often trust is lost due to our inaction rather than our wrong action.

During times of our mutual uncertainty, the need for trustworthy leadership intensifies. Trust enables us to deal more realistically and effectively with both good news and bad news during the turbulence of pressure and stress. With trust we can increase our commitment and encourage risk-taking.

Trust grows stronger when we listen, learn, and follow the truth with passion and our gut instinct. It is during times of stress that we all generally tend to be most cautious about taking risks, but it is at precisely those times when taking risks is most important. Leaders who embrace such risk-taking will be supported and followed while those who turn away bring about alienation.

The effective leader cushions the risk by providing support and encouragement. Then, when your people have challenged the status quo and come out on top, celebrate it.

The opposite of integrity is inconsistency. As leaders we are closely watched by our followers who see how closely our words and stated intentions match our actions. Do we keep our promises? Do we "spin" the facts? When we don't "walk our talk" our inconsistency triggers a cascade of effects depressing our follower's trust, commitment, and willingness to go the extra mile with us.

We build our credibility slowly but we can watch it dissipate ever so quickly. If we compromise our integrity sticky labels of hypocrisy will attach to us. Yet, we have to fairly deal with the competing priorities of our many stakeholders. We have to cope with shifting policies imposed upon us. We have to deal with the cynicism created by the implementation of management fads and changing fashions. We have to guide our actions based upon unclear and sometimes confusing priorities from above. And then, most difficult of all, is we have to watch our own blind spots.

Most of us have a natural inability to see an integrity problem in ourselves. It is our natural desire to see ourselves as consistent and not self-deceiving.

The trust that takes us years to build can suffer serious damage through our own hand in just a moment. There are many enemies of trust. They can be overt or covert, interpersonal or organizational, cultural or financial. Inconsistent messages head the list. There is the temptation to tell people what they want to hear. When we hear widely disparate views we can be punished from above for dissent. We are often rewarded for burying conflict.

There may be great wisdom in letting our words to be few. We need to think through our commitments and priorities, what we will bless, and where we take a stand. Sometimes it is very important to judge the impact our words and actions will have. We have to be careful about where we put our enthusiasm; there needs to the resonance between what's inside us and our external support. Because appearances matter, as we learn we may have to make an exaggerated show of passion for our truly major initiatives.

We will be judged for inconsistent standards if we play favorites or if we allow star performers to bend the rules. Followers keep score relentlessly; notions of unfairness quickly erode trust and may even engender cynicism. Misplaced benevolence for the incompetent destroys value and destroys trust - - not to mention motivation.

People with a cloud of negativity around them are like a contagious seeping wound. When we tolerate volatility or mean-spiritedness or extreme ambition, we dishonor the diligent and self-disciplined. We need to deal with such behavioral problems firmly and fairly while rejecting the recalcitrant.

Other enemies of trust include false feedback instead of honesty and candor, failure to trust rather than allowing others to grow, and rumors in a vacuum (with ill-informed speculation) that come from withholding relevant information.

Elephants in the parlor (situations so painful or politically charged that we pretend they don't exist) destroy both trust and morale. Trust declines when we attempt to conceal something. Consistent underperformance steals everyone's heart.

One of the worst things we can do - - when we want to reassure our followers - - is speculate about the future. We also have to be extremely cautious about making unequivocal statements.

Under stress we need to demonstrate, visible leadership that goes above and beyond what we normally do. The worst thing we can do in the face of a crisis is "go dark". Even if we are unsure what to do we cannot afford to withdraw. Followers can live with humility in the face of doubt especially if we model our determination and resolve to succeed. It is okay to go for help.

But stumble we will. Inevitably trust will be badly damaged. There are four steps to rebuild trust:

  • figure out what happened - - this is rarely simple - - by asking how quickly or slowly did trust breakdown, when did the violation become known, whether there was a single or multiple cause, and whether the loss of trust was reciprocal
  • ascertain the depth and breadth of the loss of trust
  • own up to the loss quickly instead of ignoring or downplaying it
  • identify as precisely as possible what we must accomplish in order to rebuild trust

When we are on the receiving end of broken trust - - when we suffer betrayal - - we need to learn how to heal. Here are seven healing steps:

  1. Observe what has happened. Pay attention to the thoughts telling you you've been taken advantage of or sold out.
  2. Honor the loss you've experienced by allowing all the negative feelings to surface--instead of dismissing them hastily, use them as diagnostic guides.
  3. Reach out to others who can help you deal with your feelings.
  4. Reframe the experience in a larger context: ask yourself what lessons the betrayal can teach you about yourself and others. This will help you achieve a measure of objectivity and detachment.
  5. Analyze how you could have handled the situation differently, and take responsibility for the role you played in the process.
  6. Forgive yourself and the person who betrayed you.
  7. Decide how you'll act differently the next time a similar situation occurs, then let go and move on.

To foster trust instead of instilling suspicion, we need to begin by developing our own capacity for trust first. Our readiness to trust influences our own beliefs and perceptions. As we have a stronger belief in our own dependability and reliability our confidence grows.

Our ability to trust others grows with our ability to trust our self. Thus we initiate a positive feedback loop because our followers' willingness to put their trust in us is influenced by their perceptions that we see ourself as trustworthy. Further, as we grow in confidence about our own motives and capabilities, we begin to attribute good intentions to our followers.

Trust begins in an idealistic and undifferentiated manner. However, for trust to grow it must be reciprocally validated by the actions of our followers. Incrementally, over time inch by inch, our trust in each other’s competence (and character) will grow.

As trust increases greater responsibility and accountability can be offered and accepted. Failures along the way - - rather than being punished - - are accepted as lessons learned. The steady maintenance of integrity recalibrates trust and in time builds expectations and confidence.

Trust is "a willingness to accept risk arising from uncertainty about and vulnerability to another’s actions, based on an assessment of his or her likely course of action". Uncertainty and vulnerability combine to produce risk.

Four specific leadership actions build trust:

  • Reduce uncertainty
  • Limit vulnerability
  • Believe in each follower
  • Limit personal bias.

Uncertainty is reduced when shared values are mutually crafted and communicated, and as formal and informal rules are clarified. Vulnerability is limited as problems are disaggregated into smaller discrete elements.

Also helpful is deliberately limiting the risk of failure; moreover celebrating and learning from well-intentioned mistakes makes a huge difference.

Believing in another comes from two steps. First, to protect others we need to move quickly to replace the incompetent; second, we help build our followers' positive reputations by reinforcing reliability, helping them develop skills and competence, and celebrating accomplishments.

We diminish our own bias when we take time to get to know our followers, explicitly acknowledge personal differences, demonstrate care and concern for all, and make clear expectations and appropriateness. Trust is built (or destroyed) over time through a series of interactions. As leaders reduce their followers' levels of perceived uncertainty and vulnerability, they will increase trust as well as improve cohesion and performance.

Leaders must be careful to honor unique followers such as "tempered radicals". Such individuals are usually somehow at odds with the dominant culture of their organizations as they stick to their values, ideals, and personal identity. Their struggle is both personal and political as they challenge assumptions of the status quo introducing practices that meet unaddressed needs; their actions are sometimes explicit by design while at other times they are just being who they are.

As they deviate from organizational norms - - for they see things that the more conventional cannot easily see - - they often inspire learning. As they march to a different drum and experiment with new ways of behaving, their challenge of existing conventions opens unseen doors for new adaptation and discovery.

These tempered radicals are not revolutionaries; the changes they affect unfold most slowly and often without detection. The changes they catalyze are seldom inconsequential yet they occur gradually and incrementally.

They don't see themselves as heroes or champions and their actions are rarely dramatic. They simply speak to the truth as they seek opportunities to make an impacting positive difference on their organization. Like corporate mavericks, tempered radicals in their unorthodox ways supply a dimension of leadership that is difficult if not impossible to replicate. Good leadership values diversity rather than enforcing conformity.

Trust does not always mean agreement. What followers want most is to be heard. They want to share their ideas and explain their perspective. Once heard, followers will commit to a leader's decision - - even one they disagree with - - if they believe the process the leader used to make the decision was fair.

When there is fair process, engagement, explanation and clarity, trust along with commitment rises as followers feel their opinion counts. Cooperation becomes self-initiated and voluntary as they go beyond the call of duty often exceeding expectations.

"Amid integrity and trust, other things take care of themselves". We can simplify the building of trust to five simple factors:

  • Walk the talk
  • Treat others with respect
  • Create a problem-solving climate
  • Discuss facts - - not personalities
  • Make discussions win-win situations

Leaders build trust through integrity, consistency, reliability, and interdependence by communicating without pretense, criticizing and praising with constructive candor, and involving followers in the decisions. Making the effort to know others, as well as letting others see who they are, is the risk leaders take to set the foundation for candid, collaborative, and analytical exchanges. "Candor is perhaps the most important, component of trust".

The Art of Connection & Storytelling

Voice and the ability to engage others in shared meaning are the most essential characteristics of leadership (along with two others - - adaptive capacity and driving purpose). "The ultimate test of leadership is having willing and inspired followers".

Genuine leaders are able to empathize with their followers and make them feel essential. Timeless leadership gives voice to who we really are and how we express our self in fidelity, integrity and self-confidence. This kind of voice inspires trust in others; people want to follow leaders who are worthy of their loyalty and whom they perceive represent their interests and share their values. Character, the ability to authentically connect, transcends personality in the way substance transcends style.

All of the great leaders have one characteristic in common: It was willingness to confront unequivocally the major anxiety of their people of their time. This, and not much else, is the essence of leadership.

Leaders do well to learn the art of storytelling. Stories are "tailor made for celebrations". They put a human face on our success. As leaders we can use stories to teach, mobilize and motivate. "Well told stories reach inside of us and pull us along".

Martin Luther King was a master of using powerful language to reach such emotion. He did not speak off the top of his head - - with great diligence and grinding creativity he worked at his metaphorical prose; then he honed and polished his stories until he could deliver his imagery with great impact as he brought his vision to life.

All great stories offer crystal clear illustrations that people can learn from. They encourage our heart as we connect to one another.

"People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities". Optimism or hope helps us believe we have both the will and the way to accomplish our goals; they are prime determinants of our success or failure in life. Stories help develop such attitudes.

The structure of the story has a beginning, a build-up of tension, a middle, a climax, and then a resolution at the end. The structure of a story is inherent to the way we experience our lives - - it can reach to the core of who we are. A great story speaks to our hopes and dreams.

Finally and Critically

As leaders, we connect through the art of listening. When we listen carefully with total concentration and warm response, the whispers of the heart and spirit are understood; our followers can finally "be heard" in a way that satisfies a deep yearning to bond. When we listen with total engagement, we reach deep levels of appreciation and understanding; in no other ways can our relationships be so strengthened. Such listening is most often offered "in confidence". Our responsibility as leaders is to protect that confidence. Whatever was said stays with us. There is great power in keeping a secret - - and deep loyalty.

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