310 Leadership Best Practice 10 : Promote Health And Balance

Learning from Letting Go

The key to personal and organizational health is in forgiving and "letting go". Yet forgiveness is incredibly hard to achieve. Unless we have empathy for our own and everyone else's fallibility, we will never be able to forget and drive forward. Nothing can be more destructive than the unforgiving harboring of grudges. Related to grudges is cynicism.

Cynicism is an amazing and disturbing teacher.... I have discovered that people are cynical only about the things that are important them. So let the cynicism emerge. It will help clarify values and priorities. Get more in touch with the cynicism in your organization rather than ignore and suppress it.

Unforgiveness, grudges, and cynicism speak loudly but we are not sensitive to what they symbolize. If we were to process instead of suppress our feelings - - good, bad, ugly or otherwise - - not only will we learn a great deal, we will be freed from them.

The subject of emotional maturity and emotional intelligence is larger than psychology itself. The point to be made here is that feelings and emotions are both opportunities (to learn) and threats (to the health of everyone in the path of those with buried feelings including the owner).

We need to focus on the healing effect of achieving emotional equilibrium. The emotion-mind-body, the body-energy, and the body-spirit relationships are primary determinants of health and disease. Good health is emotionally based. Emotions are in our service.

Psychological Hardiness and Balance

"People can't lead if they aren't psychologically hardy".

No one follows people who avoid stressful events and won't take decisive action. Psychological hardiness does not promote sickness but instead promotes success. There is a clear attitudinal difference between highly stressed leaders who have high-illness and low-illness manifestations. The psychologically hardy have a strong sense of control and believe they can influence the direction and outcome of whatever is going on around them. Passiveness seems like a waste of time to them and "playing the victim" is rarely contemplated.

The psychologically hardy are also strong in commitment, finding whatever they do as interesting, important, or worthwhile; they are seldom disengaged, bored and empty. The hardy take on challenge looking for both personal improvement and fulfillment through continually learning from both positive and negative experiences.

Psychological hardiness allows us to process distress in constructive ways and it is fundamental in overcoming adversity. Leaders burn out not so much from a lack of energy as from a lack of purpose and meaning. Passion is the energy generated when we find personal meaning in what we do.

Within the heart of an enduring leader is outgoing concern, caring and devotion. Good physical and mental health is founded on the most basic of human emotions - - love. Peace and joy are found in optimistically looking for the best in people and what they can become.

Colman Mockler, CEO of Gillette from 1975-1991, had an inner intensity: a dedication to making anything he touched the best but not for the accolades and fame (he was a reserved, gracious, gentle and extremely modest individual) but rather because he couldn't imagine doing it any other way.

He spent nearly all his waking hours with people who loved him, who loved what they were doing and who loved one another, at work, at home, in charitable work, wherever…. He was so good at assembling the right people around him, and putting the right people in the right slots, that he just didn't need to be there all hours of the day and night. That was Colman's whole secret to success and balance.

The lack of balance diminishes our effectiveness as leaders. We all have a natural tendency to imbalance and to overdevelop certain of our strengths at the expense of their counterparts. We can develop certain of our strengths to such an extreme that the corresponding weaknesses can dog us and set us up for failure. If we can guard against lopsidedness we can increase both our personal versatility and our impact.

Distributing Power

Perhaps the most vital yet difficult balance for leaders to achieve involves the distribution and use of power. As leaders we can be autocratic or participative, forceful or enabling, command-and-control oriented or followers centered. The balance is like a Teeter-Totter, the more forceful we are the less enabling we are; the more we make "tough calls" the less "compassionate" we can be.

We are lopsided when we are too consistently forceful and too seldom enabling, or vice versa. The opposite of lopsided or imbalanced is versatile. Versatile leaders continually adjust their behavior to meet the needs of the situation. Leaders need a wide and flexible range of behaviors, expert behaviors.

The most common root causes of leadership imbalance are five:

  • uneven skill development
  • skewed mental models in which our assumptions, beliefs, values and attitudes may be distorted, uninformed, or untrue
  • one-sided values slanted by personal comfort or past success
  • insecurity and fear of inadequacy or incompetence
  • our natural human tendency to polarize that which is various shades of gray.

Imbalance leads us to inappropriately over-use or under-use our power.

The solution to imbalance begins with self-awareness - - humbly accepting our inadequacies and the need to change. We need to shore up our weaknesses so that we can perform what the job requires. Intellectual adjustments are fairly easy but emotional and behavioral adjustments are not straightforward.

Learning in front of others - - and all leaders live in glass houses - - confronts our personal security and vulnerability. We also need to moderate our overused side and "stop over doing it". Interestingly, we can temper our strengths by applying them with greater skill and nuance. Rather than giving up our gift, we can make more discriminating effective use of it. The more senior our responsibility as leaders within an organization, the more important it is we lead with balance.

Personal Insecurities

Just as important as organizational health is our own personal health. It is entirely too easy to devote our lives exclusively to work. Very few executives and senior leaders live balanced lives. When we fail to put enough effort into our family life and our personal life, we lose our sense of proportion. When we have guilt over the time we spend with our mates and our children we are probably having problems we are not owning up to - - problems that are rooted in our personal internal conflicts.

Our personal insecurities or pain can lead us to become workaholics and unnaturally obsessed. Workaholics know - - as much as they try to deny it - - that they are masking personal incompetency in one or more areas of their life.

Action is a typical human response to anxiety that gives us some sense of control. Many senior leaders suffer from depression while others are manic - - many cycle between the two.

Existential crisis, unfulfilled dreams, and aging provoke anxiety. Psychic pain and denial is often masked (in appearances and inauthentic behavior) or else is expressed in aggressive behavior. When we live in personal denial, we often become caught up in a whirlwind of hyperactivity.

Healthy leaders are able to live intensely because they are able to experience the full range of their feelings. In accepting what goes on inside themselves they have no color blindness to any particular emotion. They can take personal responsibility because they are in the habit of it.

Blame and scapegoating is incongruent with personal self-observation and self-analysis. They can accept "the madness" of their idiosyncrasies. Disappointments and times of depression can be worked through. Their capacity to establish and maintain personal friendships is stabilizing.

Above all, healthy leaders can live passionately and infectiously because they have found meaning in their life that they can share. By contrast, unhealthy leaders - - unable to deal genuinely with what's inside - - instead run their lives to mollify or mask the narcissistic wounds which disturb them.

The Laws of Radiant Health

Radiant health comes from living in harmony with the biological and psychological laws that govern our body. Roderick Meredith identified seven basic health principles that work together to produce that harmony.

The first law is to avoid bodily injury. We need to work to prevent accidents and quit taking physical risks in either work or play. Carelessness or foolishness can ruin our life.

The second law is to give ourselves proper sleep and rest. Too often we drive ourselves in work or play, thinking we can catch up on sleep later. Since the days Thomas Edison invented the electric light bulb we have been robbing ourselves of the rejuvenative powers that can be had by deep sleep. Without sufficient sleep short-term memory does not convert into long-term memory. We are not as sharp. Our body does not fully recuperate. We also need diversity in our waking activities. We thrive when we can pursue a variety of interests. Who said "a change is as good as a rest?"

The third law is exercise. In this fast-paced society we can easily lose our exercise time to the frenetic needs pressing in upon us. We all need an intelligently planned program of exercise. Exercise stimulates deep breathing and increases our blood circulation. It aids in the expelling of wastes from our system, and it tends to produce "normalcy" in our bodily functions. By expending energy we gain energy. Our body recharges after appropriate systematic exercise. Emotions tend to balance out and we can think more clearly.

Law number four is often overlooked. We need plenty of sunshine and fresh air. The mechanics of our society often have us breathing recirculated air. The stress of our society often has us breathing far too shallowly. We need a plentiful supply of our most important nutrient - - oxygen. The more we can feed ourselves with fresh air the more alert and energetic we will be. Many of us only taken enough air in to sustain life, but not enough to live vigorously.

The beneficial effects of the sun's rays are well-documented, as is the danger of overexposure. Those of us that are sensitive to our own bodies know how big a positive difference getting plenty of sunshine can make to us. If we stay cooped up inside we cannot feel our best. Letting the sun smile upon us brings a natural radiance.

Law number five is cleanliness and dress. Our shoes and all our clothing need to fit well. This seems obvious but apparently it isn't. Personal hygiene is a societal norm. Appearances and looking healthy are a Hollywood standard that is hard to achieve. Our anxiety over our looks is counterproductive. There is something perverse in how we have come to view beauty. Proper elimination (regular bowel movements) is far more critical than we believe. A dirty bowel hosts illness and disease.

Law number six is the most greatly violated: food and fasting. Obesity is quickly becoming a national disaster. Cancer and heart disease kill us before our time. Chemical additives and food processing - - not to mention our love affair with fat - - are causing unparalleled harm to our health.

It is difficult to find pure water and when we do we have to pay a premium for it. It is most difficult to find natural food as nature would provide it. Although "organic" food is available to us, we do not want to pay its much higher price - - we have other priorities for our hard-earned income.

Too many of us do not eat well unless it is for entertainment. We use food for almost everything except what it was made for - - to properly nourish us. To be truly healthy, we need to eat a wide variety of natural foods in a way that we can gain their full nutritional value.

As our world has evolved, this is anything but a simple pursuit. Eating healthy is hard work! We would rather pop pills and believe the government is watching out for us. The idea of going on a health fast is considered fanaticism. Self-reflection while taking in a spiritual fast is rare. If we want to eat healthy, we have to choose to change our lifestyle. Today, that is a very tough choice.

Law number seven is the most important: maintain a tranquil mind. Our body will heal itself if we are in a relaxed state. Having internal peace, at least most of the time, is the key to health. There is a direct connection between our mental state and our emotional well-being.

There are four primary emotions that govern how our bodies operate. They are:

  • Happy
  • Sad
  • Fearful
  • Angry

If we live in a perpetual state of fear or anger, the corresponding biological activation will quickly cause our health to break down.

When we are sad, there are almost always unresolved issues to process. However, too often we run from our sadness instead of learning from it. Suppressing our sadness leaves us feeling disconnected and burdened.

The resulting buried anxiety keeps our body from reaching the self-healing relaxation state we so desperately need. We need to take time for reflection, regular timeouts, from our stress-filled fast-paced world if we hope to have peace and health.

Tranquility, nutritional food, cleanliness, sunshine and fresh air, exercise, rest and safety - - these are hardly revolutionary ideas. We have all known these laws of health. Sadly, we have to fight to practice these laws of health. It is our choice whether we will alter our lifestyle to become radiantly healthy.

Anti-Heroic Leadership

Charismatic leadership is management executed by force of personality and inspiration. Charismatic leaders live under a burden. Leading as a hero or savior demands more of such leaders then can be received back. For most of us leading as a charismatic leader is toxic.

Generally leadership should be “anti-heroic”. In so many companies the charismatic is almost always the organization's key asset and contributor, the most indispensable part of the operation. The organization should be built to do everything it can to nurture, protect, and maintain its most valuable asset. However, hero leaders seldom know how to take care of their own needs and interests -- in fact, they are horrible at it.

Unless the hero everyone looks too is personally nourished, the ongoing needs of followers, employees and customers cannot be satisfied. When the organization does not fulfill the ongoing needs of its prime leader, eventually everything unravels.

As leaders we need to ask and act on the answers to five basic questions:

  • What do I need and want out of life?
  • What do I want to give and how do I want to serve?
  • How can our organization help us accomplishment that?
  • What would such a corporation look like?
  • How do we get it to look like that?

Unembarrassed honesty about one's own personal needs, wants, and capabilities is critical to leadership success.

The notion that the top leader is infallible, superhuman, invulnerable, or dauntless is the foundation of failure.

Leadership has its roots in humility, truth, and trust. From those virtues we can build the powerful qualities of authenticity and generosity while working to create a sense of meaning for all in our organization.

A leader who has become emotionally bankrupt by virtue of having worked too hard, and ends up burnt out, has nothing to give. Leaders who respect their very human needs are able to create an environment in which growing and service can be put first.

Putting everyone in the organization in a better position to serve has the critical impact of building a sense of meaning which is so important to corporate vitality. Leaders must begin by assessing and accepting their own strengths and weaknesses while respecting their own needs. This very much includes understanding their dreams and imaginings.

Who Not How

The notion of humility must follow. The leader should not ask “how” but ask “who”. In other words the leader must presume someone else is best qualified to achieve the goals of the organization. When founders observe the “who-not-how” rule they are liberated to imagine. They begin to discover they can make things happen that they couldn't dream of doing by their own individual power.

Again, Jim Collins likens the leader of an organization to the driver of a bus. Collins says the bus driver's (or leader’s) job is not to decide where the bus should go or how to drive it there; rather the driver’s job is to first help the right people get on the bus and to help the wrong people get off of the bus, and then help the right people get into the right seats.

The right people then help the leader figure out where to drive the bus - - co-create a dream - - and how the destination should be reached. Further, the right people attract other right people inspiring everybody on the bus. Building the right team diminishes the burden and anxiety carried by charismatic leaders. Having the right team on the bus can mean riding to places the leader was not capable of picturing.

Take Turns Leading

Leaders need to be able to embrace the difference between “I am my company” and “we are a company”. Understanding the difference means inviting others to take turns leading. It makes room for the members of the team to feel proprietary about what the organization is about. It encourages people throughout the organization to imagine meaningful ways that they can help drive the company's vision and make it real. It gives everyone an unusual chance to have an impact. People make greater contributions when they know they can make a difference.

Anti-heroic leadership resists the emotional temptation to seek adulation and praise. In being an ordinary human being the leader loses the isolation that surrounds the superhuman. By discarding the hero mentality leaders can stand shoulder to shoulder with the members of their organization. Then “stuff doesn't have to be so hard”.

The cult of the charismatic leader is one of both performance and loneliness. The humble become part of the very community they have created.

“Increasingly, people have to be treated and managed as volunteers”. People work for a sense of satisfaction -- bribery does not work.

They begin by asking what the organization is trying to do and where is it going. They want to know how they can contribute to personal achievement and personal responsibility. In their area of knowledge they want respect and the ability to make decisions.

Change: Threat or Opportunity?

To survive and succeed in this novel fast-paced world, the organization or venture has to turn itself into a change agent. Change is managed by creating it.

The time has come in which all organizations require systematic innovation. What works best is not exploiting people but exploiting successes, especially the unexpected and unplanned successes. Some of the greatest opportunities come from unexpected success. Such opportunities must be followed as careful planning is thrown away. In following the results of such success, leaders set clear directions for their organizations' venture.

In abandoning the unsuccessful past and striving for continuous improvement of every product, service, and process within the enterprise, the entire mindset of the organization changes. In so doing change is no longer seen as a threat but as an opportunity. Personal meaning is found in the shared organizational dream.

Character & Passionate Humility

Healthy leadership is not about charisma - - rather character is the key to leadership. 85% of a leader's performance depends on personal character. From that character comes a sense of hope and optimism. From character comes the oil of any organization - - trust and cooperation. As meaning is shared and results sought, character makes it safe to simplify and pursue the right direction to move towards the dream.

As Einstein has stated, make things as simple as possible but no simpler. Passion is found in a simple sense of purpose. Healthy leadership manages to combine humility and respect with fierce resolve in pursuit of the organization's shared dream. The dream becomes a living embodied experience to make a difference.

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